Lazy YouTube follow-up to last rant

It looks like there are a few clips out there that back me up.

Item number one - spank me vicar, that'll be those popstars being shocking again:

It's a pity that there's only this version around. My only problem with Flanders and Swann is Flanders and Swann themselves - I've always found their delivery camp and knowing where playing straight would have worked better. Many of their songs were popular on BBC children's television when I was growing up and, on the whole, I'd rather hear Johnny Ball sing "A Transport of Delight" than its writers. It's like the old cliché about Bob Dylan songs sounding better when done by others.

Item number two - where swears might just be the point rather than the easy path to steet credibility

JCC (guesting on Neil Innes' programme) tries manfully against the broadcasting rules of the day, but it doesn't really work, does it?

This used to be a fun house, but now it's full of sweary clowns

My daughter had to come up with a dance routine at school today. She chose "Funhouse" by P!nk, which I believe is pronounced "pink". It would be easy money to play the bewildered dad act, so I won't lie - I knew of the song. But we don't own a copy, and it was needed on a CD this morning.

Of course, I was told this at twenty past eight.

Not wanting to set a bad example to my children, I then went looking to buy the song as a download. I've had problems with burning CDs from files with digital rights management protection, so iTunes was ruled out. All other versions available had the warning that they were "explicit".

Let's make this clear: I'm not Mary Whitehouse. I can eff and jeff as much as anyone. I just don't expect to be PAID for it. We're not talking about "Evidently Chicken Town" by John Cooper Clarke here; "Funhouse" has a single swear two minutes in that adds nothing. I'd have laughed if the radio version had bowdlerised the line to "burn the bugger down", but my sense of humour doesn't travel.

The singles chart is absolutely full of this stuff - the mild thrill of BBC radio having to mask any instance of Paul Weller singing "shit" in a Jam song is in the distant past. I've had to tell my kids that this isn't the sole preserve of professional misanthropes like Eminem - chart music is either obsessed with sex or peppered with oil rig vocabulary. Or both. A recent Cee Lo Green single was called "Fuck You". It may as well have been titled "Piss Poo Bum Snot".

I just downloaded the radio version of Funhouse off YouTube in the end. If you feel like reporting me, phone the police. You know their number.

The Censor's Shite

+++++++++++++SPOILER ALERT+++++++++++++++
The following rant reveals a few things about a film called "The King's Speech". You may have heard of it. Indeed, what I have to say is about published spoilers in unexpected places. As I am aware of the irony in all this, I'll warn you that if you haven't already seen the film and want to, you should keep yourself clean and read no further. To protect you, here's a nice picture of Dani Harmer before the rant starts:

Here in Britain, we rely on an organisation called the BBFC to ensure that our cinema films, DVD releases, etc. are restricted to certain age groups, if anyone at all. I appreciate that they're in a difficult position as they are under pressure from both sides, either from organised prudery to ban everything or from liberal progressiveness to not even exist. However, a BBFC habit that has emerged in recent years is proving to be a pain.

Since films like Jurassic Park, deemed suitable for families but likely to scare young children, the BBFC has included text advice alongside its certificates. This has gathered momentum since they replaced the rather straightforward "12" certificate (nobody under 12 allowed in) with the "12A" (the A presumably standing for "apology"), where under 12s may enter accompanied but the accompanying adults are warned about anything contentious.

The King's Speech is a 12A. It's been playing to packed cinemas (I don't call them "theatres", and don't get me started on the US spelling of that word) and is likely to hoover up any number of awards internationally. This is partly because it's a very well acted and put together film, but also because people expect British cinema to be about the emotional constrictions of the ruling class and this doesn't disappoint in that department.

The 12A certificate is for language reasons. We all know that in BBFC-talk "strong language" means that somebody says "fuck" and "extremely strong language" means somebody says "cunt". But here they had to embellish; "strong language in a speech therapy context", it says on every poster. You've guessed it - one of the funniest moments in the film has now been telegraphed to you by our moral guardians; Bertie Windsor momentarily becomes Sammy and His Stammer out of Viz Comic.

F-F-F-Fuck Off indeed.